May 20, 2008

What do you do after you have tried everything?

What do you do after you have tried everything?

When your health is getting worse, and nothing that you try works?

Narcolepsy is so tricky, and I guess just like everything else, what works for one person, may not work for another. Anyone out there with Narcolepsy, have any advice? I have taken Dexedrine for about 5 years now, with no increase in dosage. I worked full time, up until approx. one and a half year ago. First I went down to part time, then I was let go. I got the award for employee of the year! How could they just let me go??? Even after all of this time, it is like it happened yesterday. I guess my job was my life. It was the only stable thing I had.

I am sorry if this a a depressing post. I just am letting it out...the cats out of the bag. I am not the "together" person that most think I am, and I am at a loss when it comes to what to do. I lost my job, my apartment, my car. I work part time now.

I know I am blessed. I just am getting to the point where I cannot imagine living like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to die, I just don't want to live like this. I have been independent for most of my adult life. I think when one loses this independence, it can truly wreak havoc on your self worth, or your perceptions of yourself. I want to be a active part, a useful positive part of this world again.

I know God knows what is going on, I just can't figure out what he wants me to do...

or not do.

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