May 20, 2008

What do you do after you have tried everything?

What do you do after you have tried everything?

When your health is getting worse, and nothing that you try works?

Narcolepsy is so tricky, and I guess just like everything else, what works for one person, may not work for another. Anyone out there with Narcolepsy, have any advice? I have taken Dexedrine for about 5 years now, with no increase in dosage. I worked full time, up until approx. one and a half year ago. First I went down to part time, then I was let go. I got the award for employee of the year! How could they just let me go??? Even after all of this time, it is like it happened yesterday. I guess my job was my life. It was the only stable thing I had.

I am sorry if this a a depressing post. I just am letting it out...the cats out of the bag. I am not the "together" person that most think I am, and I am at a loss when it comes to what to do. I lost my job, my apartment, my car. I work part time now.

I know I am blessed. I just am getting to the point where I cannot imagine living like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to die, I just don't want to live like this. I have been independent for most of my adult life. I think when one loses this independence, it can truly wreak havoc on your self worth, or your perceptions of yourself. I want to be a active part, a useful positive part of this world again.

I know God knows what is going on, I just can't figure out what he wants me to do...

or not do.

7 comments:

nature_mom said...

its so nice to have found your blog. i also have narcolepsy. i tried provigil and it made me weird. so now i'm on a low dose of ritalin just once a day and lots of sleep at night. i'm working full-time and have 2 toddlers.

Ja said...

Nature mom, thank you so much for your comment...it gets lonely out here!!! fulltime and two babies!!!??? You are superwoman!!! How in the world do you do it??

God Bless YOU!!!

Ja:)

Emily said...

I was curious, Ja, did you tell your employers you have narcolepsy?

Inari said...

Interesting to know.

Oh Hola I'm Ja:) said...

Emily,
Wow sorry I took so long! Yes I did tell me employer. They did accomodate for me when it got worse, but sometimes I guess, it got to the point where there weren't any accomodations left to try. Thanks for reading my blog!!:)

Oh Hola I'm Ja:) said...

Inari,

Thanks for reading my blog! Hope you come back again!

iconografer said...

Happens to a lot of us. Can't drive a truck, work heavy equipment... I decided since no one would hire me, I would hire myself. I began studying up on internet jobs, and then started iconografie ltd. Now I do web design, graphics and other content stuff--the perfect job for a narcoleptic. After a year, I've got one part time asst. and two interns every semester. Not great, but getting there. It might not work for you, but there are sites where you can freelance. Check out Etsy.com, and Zazzle.com if you're creative. If you're writing, then maybe CreateSpace or Associated Content.

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